


Bitterest boys in town

by Nonbinary_Connor



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - Connor Murphy Lives (Dear Evan Hansen), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asexual Character, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Bisexual Male Character, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Gay Connor Murphy (Dear Evan Hansen), Gay Michael Mell, Group chat, Lesbian Character, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Pansexual Character, Regret, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, i wrote this at 2am, jared needs love, little angst, mostly memes, someone help jared, why did i do this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:19:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nonbinary_Connor/pseuds/Nonbinary_Connor
Summary: Best Girlfriend™: :0I’m flattered ZoeThe cooler Murphy: <3Insanely cool JK: ewAcorn: Jared don’t talk like that I know you cried when Bram and Simon kissed in Love, SimonAnd then screamed “I want a boyfriend.” And that was how you ended up coming out to your family.Hot Topic: omgMood but omgAcorn: I have it on videoThe coming out part and everythingHot Topic: I want itAcorn send 1 videoThe insanely cool JK: I can’t believeEvan I know some of ur secrets u better be carefulRemember when u got drunk and u started ranting about how cute Connors wasI have that on video 2Acorn: you wouldn’tThe cooler Murphy: send itSend it pussy





	1. Homosexuals and Toasters

**Author's Note:**

> i literally wrote this at 2 am don't judge me

_JaredK added ConnorM, ZoeM, and EvanH, to the chat_

_JaredK named the Chat **Homo squad**_

_Jaredk changed Jaredk’s name to Insanely cool JK_

_Insanely cool JK changed EvanH’s name to Acorn_

_Insanely cool JK changed ZoeM’s name to the cooler Murphy_

_Insanely cool JK changed ConnorM’s name to Hot Topic_

Insanely cool JK: welcome to hell

Hot Topic: why

The cooler Murphy: I agree

Acorn: Jared why

Insanely cool JK: because u guys are my only homos

Acorn: why

The cooler Murphy: I’m adding my girlfriend

Hot Topic: you have a /girlfriend/?

_The cooler Murphy added AlanaB to the chat_

_The cooler Murphy changed AlanaB’s name to Best Girlfriend™_

Hot Topic: youre dating /Alana/??

Insanely cool JK: bruh

u didn’t know ur sister had a gf

Hot Topic: I don’t talk to zoe ??

Best Girlfriend™: :0

I’m flattered Zoe

The cooler Murphy: <3

Insanely cool JK: ew

Acorn: Jared don’t talk like that I know you cried when Bram and Simon kissed in Love, Simon

And then screamed “I want a boyfriend.” And that was how you ended up coming out to your family.

Hot Topic: omg

Mood but omg

Acorn: I have it on video

The coming out part and everything

Hot Topic: I want it

_Acorn send 1 video_

The insanely cool JK: I can’t believe

Evan I know some of ur secrets u better be careful

Remember when u got drunk and u started ranting about how cute Connors was

I have that on video 2

Acorn: you wouldn’t

The cooler Murphy: send it

Send it pussy

_Acorn has left the chat_

Hot Topic: he what

_The insanely cool Jk send 1 video_

The cooler murphy: okay

That’s adorable

Also Connors had the biggest crush on Evan for like years he once cried because Evan had said his eyes looked pretty

Hot Topic: you said you woundn’t tell anyone

The cooler Murphy: yeah but that was before I knew Evan was in love with you

The insanely cool Jk: match making

Best Girlfriend™: :00

I ship it

My new OTP

You guys better get together or I’m suing

Zoe its your job to get them together

The cooler Murphy: update: I think connor just watched the video because he’s screaming

I will babe

;)

_The insanely cool Jk added EvanH to the chat_

_The insanely cool JK removed the cooler murphy from the chat_

_The insanely cool Jk removed Best Girlfriend™ from the chat_

The insanely cool JK: u 2 get together

_The insanely cool jk left the chat_

EvanH: uh hi

Hot Topic: uh

Oops hello

EvanH: so I just got caught up on the chat

?? you like /me/?

Hot Topic: oops yeah

Also don’t talk like that your adorable.

EvanH: you lie

Hot Topic: so,,, I guess

I actually don’t know how to ask you out

Oh no

EvanH: yes I’d love to be your boyfriend

Hot Topic: oh shit that was easy

_Hot Topic changed EvanH’s name to Best Boyf_

_BestBoyf added AlanaB, JaredK and ZoeM to the chat_

AlanaB: HELL YEAH

_JaredK changed JaredK’s name to matchmaker_

_ZoeM changed ZoeM’s name to Matchmaker2.0_

_AlanaB changed AlanaB’s name to The Matchmaker™_

The Matchmaker™: I’m crying

My OTP

I Sob

Matchmaker2.0: Evan btw I think you broke connor hes sreaming ‘hell yes’ and I think dads getting a little afraid

 dad: WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING CONNOR

Connor: I GOT THE BEST BOY TO DATE ME! **ME**

Best Boyf: oh no

Connor

My love

Hot Topic: its chill

Matchmaker2.0: its not chill.

Hes just screaming now

Im sneaking in

Hes so red

Like blushy

Not angry

Im snapping a pick

_[Matchmaker2.0 sent 1 picture(s)]_

Best Boyf: oh shit

Hes cute

_Hot Topic changed Matchmaker2.0’s name to snitch_

The Matchmaker™: fair

Matchmaker: So,,,

I have a problem

Like a pretty big problem

Best Boyf: what did you do

Matchmaker: so,,

I was trying to make grilled cheese

And I thought ‘it would be so much quicker to put it in the toaster’

Well that didn’t work and now my toasters on fire

Best Boyf: jaRED

Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why

Snitch: oh my god

Im crying

Send a picture

_[Matchmaker sent 12 picture(s) and 3 video(s)]_

_[the pictures are Jared in sunglasses in various poses in front of a flaming toaster. The first video is of Jared putting 2 pieces of bread with cheese on them in the toaster, saying he should have thought of this earlier, the 2nd video is the toaster erupting into flames. The last video is of Jared in sunglasses crying while despasito plays in the background, the fire alarm in blaring]_

The Matchmaker™: oh my god Jared

Best Boyf: Jared are you okay

_Hot Topic changed Matchmaker’s name to Toaster Boy_

Toaster Boy: this is cyber bulling

Call the cops

Alana

Evan

Zoe

Help me

Best Boyf: no

Snitch: cold

Toaster Boy: my neighbor called the cops because they thought no one was home and a fire man just bursts through the door to see me in my boxers and sunglasses crying while despasito plays and a toaster is in flames

Toaster Boy: fire man: son. Where are your parents?

Me: on a date with my younger brother

Fire man: why is ur Toaster on fire?

Me: I tried to make grilled cheese

Fire man: why,,, u know what. Never mind

Hot Topic: oh my god

Toaster Boy: he put the toaster out.

Best Boyf: why didn’t you do that

Toaster boy: I was crying

I got a pic of fireman looking very disappointed in me

_[Toaster Boy sent 2 picture(s)]_

Snitch: you got a picture with the fireman ??

Best Boyf: he looks so sad


	2. 2am Voltron and cleaning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Best Boyf: Its 2am and I cant sleep so im cleaning
> 
> Hot Topic: my sun
> 
> The apple of my eye
> 
> The dan to my Phil
> 
> The lance to my Keith
> 
> My Alfor to my Coran (don’t deny that Coran had a thing for Alfor)
> 
> The yee to my haw
> 
> Wtf
> 
> Who cleans when they can’t sleep?
> 
> Best Boyf: me

Best Boyf: Its 2am and I cant sleep so im cleaning

Hot Topic: my sun

The apple of my eye

The dan to my Phil

The lance to my Keith

My Alfor to my Coran (don’t deny that Coran had a thing for Alfor)

The yee to my haw

Wtf

Who cleans when they can’t sleep?

Best Boyf: me

(Coran is a gay icon)

Toaster Boy: the yee to my haw?

Wtf connor

u should see Evan when he’s stressed he bakes more than a grandma for skinny children

Snitch: what kind of analogy is that

Toaster Boy: u know what I mean though

Snitch: shit your right

The Matchmaker™: why are you guys awake

Best Boyf: anxiety

Hot Topic: a healthy mix of insomnia and depression

Snitch: I binge watched Voltron so I could understand Evan and Connors conversations

Toaster Boy: catching up on Steven universe and then deciding to look up the theories on Tumblr

Best Boyf: @snitch have you finished?

Snitch: yes

Best Boyf: have you watched the season 7 trailer?

Snitch: No

Best Boyf: WATCH IT RN

Best Boyf: Takashi

Hot Topic: IM GOING TO CRY

Best Boyf: JEREMY SAID THAT ON A SCALE FROM 1-10 SEASON 7 WILL BE A 20 ON HOW HARD WE WILL CRY

                AND THAT COMBINED WITH SEASON 8 IT WILL BE A 100

                IM NOT READY

Hot Topic: I JUST WANT ADAM AND SHIRO TO HAVE THE REUNION THET DESERVE

Best Boyf: ALSO JEREMY SAID THAT ONE PART WAS REALLY HARD TO VOICE BECAUSE IT WAS JUST FULL ON SOBBING

                IM NOT READY

Snitch: oh shit I just watched it

Who was that guy with young Shiro

Hot Topic: ADAM

                SHIROS EX-FIANCE

                THEY BROKE UP BECAUSE SHIRO CHOSE HIS JOB OVER HIM

Snitch: oh shit

                OH SHIT

Best Boyf: I KNOW

Snitch: I JUST READ THE CHAT

                WHOS JEREMY 1ST OF ALL

Best Boyf: LANCE’S VOICE ACTOR

Snitch: OH SHIT

                MY BI BOY

Alana you need to watch Voltron

                Its pretty gay

                Shiro Keith Lance and Coran are homos

                Tbh I like Nonbinary aro/ace pidge

                And pan hunk

                So everyone is gay

                Also beautiful woman

                Allura is HOT

                Shes one of the few Im allowed to cheat on you with

                Ill give you the list sometime

                Also Pidge is the only white person

The Matchmaker™: go tf to sleep

Snitch: :(

Best Boyf: update my mom just came downstairs with a baseball bat.

She was going to hit me with it

And then she was it was me as she just sighed

Hot Topic: that happened to me and Zoe once.

                But she did hit me

Snitch: yeah. I thought you were a demon

Toaster Boy: you weren’t wrong

_Snitch changed Hot Topics name to actual demon_

Actual demon: Im hurt

Best Boyf: I’ll protect you

Actual demon: :0

The Matchmaker™: go the fuck to sleep

Toaster Boy: okay mom

_Best Boyf changed The Matchmaker™’s name to mom_

Mom: I am your mother now

Snitch: but,,,,,,,I don’t want to date my mom

_Mom changed Snitch’s name to other mom_

Other mom: thanks babe

Mom: :00 <3 <3 <3 <3

Toaster Boy: ew love

Best Boyf: you once cried because I said that I loved you

Toaster Boy: STOP EXPLOITING ME

Best Boyf: NO

Actual demon: I’m adding my friend

Mom: why are you adding to this chat at 3 am

_Actual demon added MichaelM to the chat_

MichaelM: hello is this the chat that made Connor laugh so hard he cried

Toaster Boy: was it about my toaster experience

MichaelM: yes

Mom: 5 facts about yourself

MichaelM: 1) I love my boyf jerem

                2) Video games

                3)weed

                4) saving the best for last

                5) gay

Other mom: your allowed

_MichaelM changed MichaelM’s name to gay™™_

Actual demon: did you guys not trust my judgement?

Other mom: your friends with us

Toaster Boy: shes right

Best Boyf: guys

                I was listening to sick of losing soulmates by dodie

                And I was thinking about

                ADAM AND SHIRO ?? I CRII

Actual demon: oh shit

                Also are you okay ??

Best Boyf: I mean

                No ??

Actual demon: my baby

Gay™™: that’s gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact i actually did wash the dishes at like 3am because i couldn't sleep and the mess was annoying me  
> staying up till 5am with connor consists of crying over fandoms cooking and cleaning the house  
> pls don't attack me for shipping klance i respect your ships pls respect mine  
> everyones opinions in this fic are my opinions :))  
> i will cry if anyone gets angry at me for my opinions :))


	3. coming out and fireman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Toaster Boy: I just saw the fireman while at the store
> 
> Oh shit
> 
> Fave nonbinary pal: oh shit
> 
> Toaster boy: hes like 20 do you think hes gay
> 
> Probably
> 
> im almost 18 so we could probably date
> 
> And hes cute
> 
> Me: how old are you?
> 
> Him: too old for you
> 
> Me: im 18 ??
> 
> Him: oh shit I thought you were like 9
> 
> Me: I’m 11 so shut the fuck up
> 
> Fave nonbinary pal: why are you like this
> 
> Toaster Boy: GUYS
> 
> HIS NAME IS TYLER
> 
> I GOT HIS NUMBER
> 
> HE SAID ‘JUST IN CASE YOU NEED HELP MAKING GRILLED CHEESE’ AND WINKED
> 
> HE’S 19
> 
> Best Boyf: wow
> 
> Toaster Boy changed toaster Boy’s name to fireman’s hubby
> 
> Fireman’s hubby: im in love
> 
> Mom: oh wow
> 
> Fireman’s hubby: HES POLYSEXUAL
> 
> HECK YEAH
> 
> IM ASKIGHIM OUT RN
> 
> HE SAID YES
> 
> FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh no an OC ??

Actual demon: so ugh,,,,,,

                I need to tell you guys something

Other mom: are you okay

Toaster boy: did u hurt my son

Gay™™: did you get stuck on the roof again

Best Boyf: ARE YOU OKAY BAB YOU DIDN’T HURT YOURSELF RIGHT???

Mom: let him speak jesus

Actual demon: thanks Alana

                Also im fine

                I did not hurt my boyf

                No I’m not stuck on the roof I was high at the time jesus mike

                I’m good Evan

                No its just

                I’m kinda Nonbinary ??

                So yeah if you guys could use they/them pronouns that be great

Mom: we all support you Connor <33

Other mom: oh

                Okay

                Luv you sib <33

Best Boyf: I’ll always love you so <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333

Toaster Boy: okee dokee

Gay™™: you came out to me like 3 weeks ago when high but im proud of you for actually coming out

_Best Boyf changed actual demon’s name to fave nonbinary pal_

Toaster Boy: I just saw the fireman while at the store

                Oh shit

Fave nonbinary pal: oh shit

Toaster boy: hes like 20 do you think hes gay

                Probably

                im almost 18 so we could probably date

                And hes cute

                Me: how old are you?

                Him: too old for you

                Me: im 18 ??

                Him: oh shit I thought you were like 9

                Me: I’m 11 so shut the fuck up

Fave nonbinary pal: why are you like this

Toaster Boy: GUYS

                HIS NAME IS TYLER

                I GOT HIS NUMBER

                HE SAID ‘JUST IN CASE YOU NEED HELP MAKING GRILLED CHEESE’ AND WINKED

                HE’S 19

Best Boyf: wow

_Toaster Boy changed toaster Boy’s name to fireman’s hubby_

Fireman’s hubby: im in love

Mom: oh wow

Fireman’s hubby: HES POLYSEXUAL

                HECK YEAH

                IM ASKIGHIM OUT RN

                HE SAID YES

                FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YEEEEEEAH

Gay™™: im loney im adding my bf

_Gay™™ added JeremyH to the chat_

Gay™™: welcome jere!!

JeremyH: loney

Fireman’s hubby: loney

Best Boyf: loney

Mom: loney

Other mom: loney

Fave nonbinary pal: loney

Gay™™: :(

JeremyH: lets go name pronouns and sexuality(only if comfortable) pls

Best Boyf: Evan he/him panromantic asexual

Gay™™: Michael he/him gay (4 u)

Mom: Alana she/her asexual lesbian

Other mom: zoe she/her pan

Fave nonbinary pal: connor they/them gay?? Idk I like men

Fireman’s hubby: Jared he/him homo

JeremyH: okay Jeremy he/him and bi

_Gay™™ changed jeremyH’s name to bi bi boy_

Fireman’s hubby: im so gay

                Tyler’s so cute

                Fuck

Bi bi boy: is it gush over our S/O hour??

Gay™™: yes

Mom: no

Gay™™: shit

Best Boyf: im going to sleep :)

Other mom: its only 9:30??

Best boyf: yeah but I haven’t slept since thursday night

and its monday

Fave nonbinary pal: baby

                Why

Best boyf: anxiety ://

Fave nonbinary pal: love you

                Sleep well

                Turn off your phone and notifications

                <333

Fireman’s hubby: that’s gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> do y'all want me to add Tyler to the chat or would adding an OC be weird?  
> hes build like Shiro btw


	4. The Takashi Shirogane and Texas Kogane fusion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> y'all wanted Tyler here you go  
> Tylers a big softie  
> i love him

Fireman’s hubby: so the date went well

                I’m adding Tyler

Fave nonbinary pal: jared NO

Fireman’s hubby: jares /yes/

Best boyf: at least change your user name

Fireman’s hubby: no

_Fireman’s hubby added TylerK to the chat_

Mom: Welcome Tyler we’ve heard to much about you

Gay™™: ur gay so you are accepted into the group chat but from the thousands of pictures Jared has send how did jared Kleinman score a hot fire fighter

Bi bi boy: honestly

Other mom: your built like Takashi Shirogane

And KEITHS DAD IS A FIRE FIGHTER

HOLY SHIT YOUR TEXAS KOGANE

TylerK: ??

Fireman’s Hubby: just search Texas Kogane and Takashi Shirogane

                There from a cartoon

Best Boyf: its an art

                And everyones gay for shiro

                And shiros gay

                Accept your calling

_Best Boyf changed TylerK’s name to Shiro_

Shiro:wow

                He is hot

                Oh no

                What cartoon is it from

Fave nonbinary pal: Voltron Legendary defender

Shiro: Jared Binge it with me

Fireman’s Hubby: Come over ;0

Shiro: omw

Other mom: be safe boys ;)

Mom: ;)

Fave nonbinary pal: ;)

Best Boyf: ;)

Fireman’s Hubby: space dad is disappointed

Shiro: ??

Fireman’s Hubby: I’ll explain after we watch it

 

 

_Shiro changed Fireman’s Hubby’s name to AdAm_

Shiro: wow

                That was really good

AdAm: I know right

Best Boyf: Season 7 comes out in like 2 days im not ready

Other Mom: I’m making Alana watch it and then we can all watch season 7 in our theater room

Gay™™: neither me nor Jere have watched it ??

Bi bi Boy: I’ve watched it ???

Gay™ @mom wanna watch it together with our SO’s ??

Mom: sure

Other mom: @Gay™™ @Bi bi Boy @Mom come over we will watch it in our theater

Best Boyf: oh no

                Oh no

                Oh no

Fave nonbinary pal: what

                Are you okay ??

Best Boyf: Theres a fucking wasp

Fave nonbinary pal: oh no

                Oh /no/

Shiro: I would save you, but I’m TERRIFIED of wasps

Fave nonbinary pal: same

Best Boyf: I can’t believe my own date mate would abandon me

Fave nonbinary pal: oops

Best Boyf: my mom heard me screaming and she came downstairs with a baseball bat (again)

                And then I just started screaming “theres a FUCKING WASP”

                And my mom was so surprised to here me curse she dropped the baseball bat

                And then she killed the wasp

                It was fun

AdAm: @shiro youre afraid of wasps ???

                Guys I told u he’s a softy

                Also ur a firefighter but ur terrified of  wasps

Shiro: yeah??

AdAm: oh god I’m so gay for you <33

Shiro: oh no

                Me too though <3

AdAm: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: while making Tylers last name start with a K  
> Me: what if Texas Koganes canon name is tyler  
> me: oh shit


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan-Best Boyf/Just a gay  
> Connor-Fave nonbinary pal  
> Jared-AdAm  
> Zoe-Other mom/WOKE  
> Alana-Mom/ Pure Coffee  
> Tyler-Shiro  
> Michael- Gay/Y'all  
> Jeremy- Bi bi boy  
> Rich-RichG/Dick

Best boyf: guys

                I forgot that my mom was home

                And Connor sent be a picture of his bed head

                And I started SCREAMING

                And my mom comes RUSHING into my room

                She did not have a baseball bat she had a kknife cause she was cooking

                And then I had to explain to her that I was just having a gay moment

                She was not surprised to learn I was dating Connor

                Me: MOM! Oh my god no ones here im just gay

                Mom:oh good

_AdAm changed Best Boyf’s name to just a gay_

AdAm:TBH Heidi is AMAZING

Just a gay: Connor you wanna come over for dinner in like an hour ?

Fave nonbinary pal: yes

AdAm: stay safe ;)

Just a gay: Im /asexual/ jared

Shiro: hey hey hey who wants to visit me

                Im working late at this coffee shop and im bored

AdAm: I’ll be there in 10

Mom: I have to work on stuff for school, so I’ll be there soon

Other mom: Alana you are pure coffee

AdAm: school doesn’t start for another like 3 weeks ??

_Fave nonbinary pal changed mom’s name to pure coffee_

Pure coffee: yeah but still

                Senior year matters A LOT, so I want a head start

_[AdAm sent 5 picture(s)][pictures are of Tyler working in a mostly empty café]_

AdAm: isn’t he beautiful ??

Shiro: stop

Other Mom: isn’t that what they call WOKE

Fave nonbinary pal: what

Other mom: omg wrong chat

_Shiro changed other mom’s name to WOKE_

Pure coffee: what kind of conversations are you having zozo

WOKE: you don’t want to know

Pure coffee: why am I dating you?

Gay™™: y’all

WOKE: y’all

Fave nonbinary pal: y’all

Just a gay: y’all

Bi bi boy: y’all

AdAm:y’all

Shiro: y’all

_AdAm changed gay™™’s name to y’all_

Y’all: n e ways I was walking with my moms right

                And someone yells

                “WHAT THE FUCK RICHARD”

                And then a fucking manikin just falls from the sky

AdAm: mood

Y’all: RICH FUCKING JUMPED OUT OF THE WOODS

                WTF RICH

Bi bi boy: RICH ??

                ADD HIM PUSSY

_Y’all added RichG to the chat_

Y’all: I want the story

RichG: me and a couple of friends were playing hide and seek in the woods because we’re edgey 5 year olds

                And I found a manakin’

                So I threw it at Jake

                And he screamed “what the fuck Richard” and threw her into the street :(

Pure coffee: your full name is Richard right

RichG:yeah

_Pure coffee changed RichG’s name to Dick_

Dick: fuck yeah

Just a gay: SEASON 7

Fave Nonbinary Pal: FUCK

WOKE: EVAN COME OVER WE'LL WATCH IT WHEN IT COMES OUT

                everyone else invited too i guess

AdAm: IM COMING

Shiro: i might be able to

Dick: Season 7 of what?

Bi bi Boy: OH NO RICH HAS NEVER WATCHED VOLTRON

y'all: oh no

              Rich they're obsessed

WOKE:everyone come over so we can hype ourselves up and get the theater ready

Just a Gay: I'm coming

Dick: thats what she said

WOKE: if your coming say I

AdAm: I

Shiro: I

Bi bi Boy: I

Pure coffee: I

y'all: I

Dick: wow

WOKE: youre the only one who hasn't watched it

Dick: :((((((

y'all:stfu

Dick: Im gonna watch the whole thing before it comes out

AdAm: it comes out in 7 hours

             you'd only be able to watch half of it before season 7 comes out

Dick:good thing I've watched the first 2 seasons

AdAm: when ??

Dick: before the squip

Y'all: nope we ARE NOT talking about him

WOKE: fine come if you finish through season 6

Dick: FUCK YEAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i spent all day at my best friends house sorry  
> i made a bunch of bracelets  
> they say: Big Mood, thats gay, boogara, guiznak, kill me, heck and fight me,  
> hey hey hey hey im not ready for season 7  
> i don't know if logically rich will finish all 3 seasons before its release but what ever this is a group chat and im too lazy to see


	6. season 7 depression

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Evan-Just a gay  
> Connor-Fave nonbinary pal  
> Jared-AdAm  
> Zoe-WOKE  
> Alana-Pure Coffee  
> Tyler-Shiro  
> Michael- Y'all  
> Jeremy- Bi bi boy/ Lancey lance  
> Rich-Dick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you havent watched voltron or season you can skip this chapter im just angry and using this as an outlet :)))))))))))))))

 

Just a gay: I am ANGER

Fave nonbinary pal: chill ev

Just a gay: I WILL NOT CHILL CONNOR

                THEY CAN’T DO THIS TO ME

                I AM ACTUALLY REALLY ANGRY

                REALLY VOLTRON _QUEERBAITING ????_

Dick: I don’t think they  were queerbaiting evan

Just a gay: THEY HYPED HIM UP

                AND THEN THE FORCED KEITH X AXCA AND LANCE X ALLURA

                I DON’T MIND ALLURANCE BUT IT WAS SO FORCED

                LIKE ALLURA IS A STRONG INDEPENTANT WOMAN AND I DON’T

                UGH WHAT IS DREAMWORKS DOING

                HONESTLY WHAT WAS I EXPECTING

                THERE TOO CHIKEN FOR LGBT REP

Shiro: oh my god

                I am pissed too but chill

WOKE: I really wanted to love season 7

                And the first half was great

                And hunk development and lances family and pidges family and matts glow up were all great

AdAm: I feel like shadam was used to get the fans off their back

Fave nonbinary pal: lets focus on kosmo cause he was great

Just a gay: I never hated allurance but the way they forced it made me hate ut

                Bi lance is destroyed

                Bi lance arc is gone

                Im sticking around because ive been in the fandom too long

                Also Matt and Kosmo

                I am angry Matt didn’t a lot of screen time

                Like hes a BOSS BITCH and he gets like NO screen time

                The Hunk deployment was AMAZING

Pure coffee: lets talk about what we liked

AdAm: I liked Hunk

WOKE: Romelle

Shiro: Kosmo

WOKE: they used the bury the gay trope and I want to kms

Bi bi boy: I love lance and he deserved the world not some girl who woundn’t give him the time of day until her murderous boyfriend died

                Also where the FUCK is Lotor and Haggar  ?????

                And more Romelle screen time please ??

_Y’all changed Bi bi boy’s name to Lancey Lance_

Fave nonbinary pal: okay so a lot of things in this season just seem like lazy writing

WOKE: I am angry

                I thought axca would be cool but her story has doesn’t make sense AND they forced her and Keiths relationship and idk if they’re siblings or romantically involved ??

Lancey Lance: I don’t care too much for klance at this point because it just seems like a fantasy

AdAm: Shadam was my life blood for these months of starving for gay rep and now its gone

Just a gay: maybe Bex and Jeremy can force them to give us SOME rep

                Like idc if klance is canon I just want bi lance

                And I want more positive shiro and lance interactions

                Also please give lance some more character

                I was hoping klance could start this season (cause if it happens I don’t want it to be forced) but there was NO klance I sight

                I’m giving up on Klance tbh

AdAm: me too

                I holding on for at least a openly canon gay

                Cause TBH if you just watched the show you’d never know shiro was gay

Shiro: deep sigh

Dick: why are you guys so upset

Just a gay: SO MANY REASONS

                I AM INVESTED IN THESE CHARACTERS

Just a gay: im going to try to sleep of this post season 7 depression off

WOKE: me too

AdAm: tyler come over lets cry over ice cream together

Shiro: okay

Lancey Lance: bye guys

Fave nonbinary pal: bye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me in the comments about Adams death because i am PISSED  
> tbh i am pissed  
> also when adams death was confirmed i cried so hard we had to pause it  
> my post season 7 depression is BAAAAAAD  
> i liked the first half


	7. bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> connor is bees  
> Arson bros :)  
> and other fun stuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Evan-Just a gay  
> Connor-Fave nonbinary pal/ I am bees  
> Jared-AdAm  
> Zoe-WOKE  
> Alana-Pure Coffee  
> Tyler-Shiro  
> Michael- Y'all  
> Jeremy- Lancey lance  
> Rich-Dick  
> jake: JakeD/ Bitch

WOKE: Oh my god guess what connor just fucking said

Fave nonbinary pal: ZOE NO   
WOKE: ZOE YES

AdAm: EXPOSE HIM

WOKE: SO MY FAM WAS OUT

AND CONNOR WAS LOOKING ANDROGYNOUS AS HELL

SO THIS LITTLE KID COMES UP TO THEM AND SAYS

“Are you a boy or a girl?”

AND CONNOR PANICS AND SAYS

“I am bees”

Fave Nonbinary pal: I’M SORRY

AdAm: I AM BEES??????

Lancey Lance: OH MY GOD

_ WOKE changed Fave Nonbinary pal’s name to I am bees _

I am bees: this is abuse

Just a gay: connor,,,,, babe,,,,, i love you,,,, but what

I am bees: YOU KNOW THAT POST

WERE THAT GUY IS LIKE 

‘I dont get why nb people go by they/them pronouns like youre one person’

And someone else goes ‘smh this person doesn’t know that nb people are just bees’

Shiro: i am bees?

I am bees: I WAS EXPLAINING MYSELF

I was thinking about that

And i was caught so off guard

KIDS DON’T LIKE ME

IT WAS ALL I COULD THINK TO SAY

Dick: im crying

I am bees

AdAm: this is comedy gold

Just a gay: connor my bee date mate

Y’all: THE BEE MOVIE

Y’ALL CAN RECREATE THE BEE MOVIE

Dick: HECK YEAH

AdAm: I LOVE 

I am bees: no

Just a gay: UwU can i be venessa

AdAm: i want to be adam

Dick: i want to be ken

I am bees: please,,,,no

AdAm: everyone meet at my house we’re doing this

~

Just a gay: connnor were tf are you

Coffee: what are you guys doing?

Just a gay: we’re playing hide and seek at jerads

I am bees: youll never find me :))

Just a gay: i won’t kiss you for a week

I am bees: fine im in the cabinet in the upstairs bathroom

Just a gay: HOW? YOUR 6’3??

I am bees: im bendy

bendy bones

AdAm: everyone leave me and Tyler are going on a date

WOKE: Alana wanna come over :)

I am bees: bitch

Ev im going home with you

Dick: stay safe :)

Lancey Lance: Rich you wanna hang with me and michael?

DICK: nah Jake wants to go see mamma mia

Y’all: stay safe rich :))

Dick: fuck you we’re not dating

y’all : suuure ;)

AdAm: tea :0

Dick: no tea here

Lancey Lance: oh yes tea :0

Rich has been crushing on his bffl Jake for years

Dick: JEREMY HEERE

THAT IS PERSONAL INFORMATION

AND THE ONLY REASON YOU KNOW IS BECAUSE I WAS HIGH

AdAm: oh tea :0

Add him

Dick: no

Y’all: rich you pussy

I am bees: :0

_ I am bees added JakeD to the chat _

Dick: CONNOR YOU BITCH

I’M LEAVING BYE

SHIT

JAKE

FUCK

Lancey Lance: guys he’s in the car with me and he just started screaming, then crying and now laughing

JakeD: wtf

Who is everyone?

I am bees: hola its connor murphy they/them

Lancey Lance: I am jeremy, y’all is michael and dick is rich. Idk if you know Alana(coffee) Evan(just a gay) Zoe(WOKE) or Jared(AdAm)

JakeD: whos shiro?

Lancey Lance: lol jareds boyfriend Tyler

JakeD: Rich?

Lancey Lance: he’s reading these and just started screaming 

Dick: Jeremy you bitch

JakeD: Jeremy has he really?

Lancey Lance: yeah he once cried because “hes so pretty why is he friends with me”

JakeD: :0

Y’all: well fuck thats cute

JakeD: :0000

I am bees: isn’t this how me and ev got tgether

Just a gay: yes bab

AdAm: ew

JakeD: WELL FUCK 

RICHARD COME HERE

Dick: NO

JakeD: okay rich i’ve high key had a crush on you too ????

Dick: WHAT

JakeD: YES

Dick: I’M COMING OVER RN

JakeD: :)))

Y’all: ayyyyyyyyyyyy

I am bees: GUYS EVAN NAMED A CACTUS AFTER ME

MY GAY HEART

WOKE: thats cute

AdAm: Tyler what have you named after me :)

Shiro: you ate my fucking fries 

AdAm: tyler,,,,

Shiro: WHY JER

AdAm: IM SORRY

IM A HUNGRY BOYO

Coffee: oh no

Jared doesn’t deserve you tyler

Smh stealing you S/O’s fries is the first sign of a toxic relationship

Shiro: i knew it

AdAm: takashi how important am i to you

Just a gay: JARED THOMAS KLEINMAN DON’T YOU DARE

I am bees: guys hes crying what did you do

Oh

Just a gay: ADAM DESERVED SO MUCH BETTER

AdAm: im sorry ev

I am bees: hes literally sobbing and muttering ‘adashi’

Just a gay: SHUT UP CONNOR

I am bees: i love you

WOKE: they’re probably fucking now

Just a gay: i am ASEXUAL

Dick: wow

JakeD: so we’re dating now

Y’all: HECK YEAH

JER YOU OWE ME 10$

Dick: what

Lancey Lance: mike and i bet on how soon you’d get together

_ Dick changed JakeD’s name to Bitch _

Bitch: why

Dick: :))

Shiro: anyway Jer wanna snuggle and watch love simon again

Lancey Lance: ????

AdAm: ME BITCH

And yes :)

Bitch: bye me and my boyf are gonna go watch mamma mia :))

WOKE: stay safe :)

Use a condom :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it hurt me to write some of this  
> anyway heres my twitter come talk to me:)  
> https://twitter.com/n0rmalisstrangs


	8. cocaine and 'cow's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> idk what this is

I am bees: hi charlie weasly is asexual goodbye

Pure Coffee: its 3am connor wtf

I am bees: i just love hp okay

Just a gay: I accept ace charlie

Pure coffee: why are you guys awake

I am bees: why are you awake

Pure coffee: u caught me

Just a gay: i’m watching the office and Oscar is telling this story about a guy he liked and it was kinda angsty and i relate

Pure coffee: me too

Shiro: why tf are you guys up at 3

AdAm: because why the fuck not

I am Bees: i used to think Keith’s last name was pronounced Cocaine

AdAm: oh my god

_ AdAm changed AdAm’s name to Keith Cocaine _

Shiro: but we aren’t matching anymore babe :(

Keith Cocaine: oh shit

_ Keith Cocaine changed Shiro’s name to Lover boy lance _

Lover boy lance: thanks babe

Keith Cocaine: <3

I am Bees: ew

Just a gay: :((

I am bees: not you :(

-

I am bees: would i be pidge or keith

Pidge cause I’m NB but Keith because I’m a loner Emo

Pure coffee: hhhhhhhhmmmmmm

Keith Cocaine: Keith

Lover boy lance: Keith

Lancey Lance: we have 2 lances now this isn’t okay

Y’all: oh no we have to match too babe

_ Y’all changed Lancey Lance’s name to yaint _

Yaint: why

Dick: amazing

lets match too

_ Dick changed Bitch ‘s name to Penis _

Penis: why

WOKE: everyones gotta match now

_ WOKE changed Pure Coffee’s name to BROKE _

_ WOKE changed Just a gay’s name to I am trees _

WOKE: perfect

I am trees: idk how i feel about this

BROKE: do you think i’m broke :,(

WOKE: b-babe NO! I-i don’t i just wanted to match

BROKE: I forgive you

I am bees: I like this

Penis: i don’t

I am trees: whats the scoop

Dick: PENIS

Penis: no

I am bees: heathers is 11/10

I am trees: RIGHT?

Keith Cocaine: the musical or movie

I am bees: yes

I am trees: yes

Yaint: yes

Dick: i’ve never listened to the musical

Penis: me neither

Y’all: thats because you’re JOCKS

Penis: :(

Dick: :(

WOKE: well listen to it rn

BROKE: its 11/10

I am bees: tbh Big Fun is so good

I am trees: i like meant to be yours

WOKE: smh obviously Candy Store is the best

BROKE: uhh no its seventeen

Yaint: you’re all wrong Yo Girl is the best

Keith Cocaine: ummm, no its I am Damaged

Lover Boy Lance: no its Our Love Is God

I am bees: they’re all great

BROKE: what are we going to go as for halloween

WOKE: VLD?

Keith Cocaine: ADAM IS SHIRO

AND I’M ADAM

BROKE: i’m allura

WOKE: and i’ll be Romelle

y’all : can i be Hunk?

I am bees: MARMORA KEITH

I am trees: oh boy

that will be hot

Dick: pidge

WOKE: why?

Dick: i am smol

Penis: what is VLD

Dick: we’re watching it rn

Y’all: jer what are you going as?

Keith Cocaine: umm Adam?

Yaint: HE MEANT ME

idk

I am trees: you look like lance

Yaint: yeah but connors going as keith and idk want couple with them

I am trees: so i’m lance?

a short lance

Yaint: i could be shay?

NOPE I’M GOING AS MATTHEW HOLT

Dick: jakes going as coran

idc what he says he’s going as coran

Yaint: why

Dick: i want to see him with a mustache

Y’all: valid

I am trees: very valid

I am bees: me:*struggles to open the bag of s’mores gold fish*

My mom: what are you doing

Me: science

My mom: what kind of science ???

Me: *winks*

WOKE: is that why mom was low key freaking out

I am bees: stop banging on my door

Leave me and my s’more goldfish alone

WOKE: no >:)

STOP BLASTING MCR

I am bees: no >:)

Y’aint: oh wow

Dick: one time i had a dream i was a ‘cow’

Y’all: what

Rich what do you mean ‘cow’

BROKE: this is wild

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah sorry this took so long to update  
> depression you know?

**Author's Note:**

> if anyone did any art of Jared with the toaster i would actually CRY  
> ~Connor


End file.
